My head is bursting with ideas and plans and I have a load of work to do, so I will be on a "slow mode" for a while around here.

But I have just received this email and it so represents my philosophy of lie so I thought I would share it.

In another news my baby daughter just won 4 tickets to see Princesses Wishes - Disney on Ice and she is taking me. I am ecstatic!

I love Disney!
I love dancing!
I love ice skating!

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

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Or you...

No, no...this is for YOU!

Have a great day!

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Sometimes I regret things I said.

Sometimes I say things I shouldn't but don't regret it at all.

Sometimes I drink wine with my dinner and then check my blog.

Sometimes I comment under the effect of wine.

Sometimes I write stupid things.

Sometimes I make nonsense at all.

Sometimes I am far too honest.

Sometimes I regret it.

Sometimes I don't.

If you have ever been one of my sometimes, please accept my apologies.

I have no intentions of being nosey or offend anyone, you should know that by now.

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After a long and quite funny trip across Europe we arrived in England. Stayed in a house hubby had rented for us for a few days and on the 13 of November 2000 we moved to this house.

The main reason for not staying in the first one was quite funny.
We arrived late at night and just colapsed in some beds.
In the morning when we looked outside the window to check on our view, I had to rub my eyes to make sure I was seeing well.

Our view was a huge, huge cemetery!

The girls panicked, I panicked, we said no,no,no,no,no,no, we are NOT staying here! Quite funny.

So, we started actively looking for a new home and found this one and it was okay, actually at the time it looked wonderful!

Well, we didn't know there were prostitutes working outside,so it was great! But then again,is there any place in the world where they don't work?

It was quite funny when someone asked me: How much?

And just a few days after we were here we bought a car and our neighbours stole it and smached it.

Quite funny that we moved from Brazil because we thought it wasn't safe for the girls.

But apart from all the buts, it has been a great experience.

I better start feeling at home, it's about time...I think...

This is a great country, full of oportunities and I am very thankfull for everything good that happened.

If Portugal was so great I wouldn't be here, so thank you England, thank you Liverpool.

xx

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It was a facebook night, surprisingly, because I'm not usually a facebook fan!

I shall stretch my legs and do something useful.

Like write lyrics for a song, for example...I have a title: " The internet killed the video star".

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Ta ra.

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It's on TV.

I was supposed to be there.

Hubby is....

COME ON BENFICA!!!!!!

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But how can one person be so perfect?

Oh, I'm talking about katherine Jenkins by the way.

She has a perfect face, perfect skin, perfect body, perfect smile, perfect attitude, perfect conversation and the voice...I mean, the voice is just wow! amanzigly perfect!

When she's on TV I just can't stop staring at her. But there isn't one spot on that face!!

Anyway she's such a lovely person, you just have to love her.

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Maybe because once again controversy arouse in blogland, this time in my last post.
A post I wrote in hope child blog.
About the bible.

I know for a fact, because my dad taught me, that if you want to avoid a discussion, don't talk about politics, religion or footbal.

But who said a discussion was not good? Just now and then....

What I was thinking with my buttons was, how wonderful Freedom is!

I was born and lived until I was 9 years old in a country ruled by a dictatorship.

Then one day, 24th of April 1974, a revolution happen and we were FREE!

I don't think anyone who has not experienced personally the act of becoming free, has a real idea of what that means.

Living permanently in fear of opening your mouth to express an opinion and being severely tortured and punished for it is the most despised action of all.

And I value my freedom more than anything in this world.

And when something happens that goes against freedom of speech I get angry and very upset.

Like what happened the other day to Professor David Nutt, being fired, after claiming that ecstasy and LSD are less dangerous than alcohol.

I'm not saying he's right or wrong but what about freedom of speech?

What about this?:

Universal Declaration of Human Rights

Article 18
Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.

Article 19
Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.

Value your freedom people; and respect the others freedom.

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It tastes horrible!

Have a great Thursday!

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But I always considered myself as a very down to earth girl, realistic and most of all very, very patient and controlled. I am also an optimistic person, always seeing the bright side of any dark event.
It takes a great deal to make me lose my temper and as my blog says "Life is a joke. That's why I'm always smiling."
We are not taking anything with us when we leave this world, so carpe diem is my motto.

I know from knowing myself that I am a very intuitive person. Usually when I meet someone for the first time I can immediatly say if that person is trustworthy.
I don't know how I do it but life has proved me right.

I also have a special gift when I can tell a woman is pregnant even if she doesn't know it yet. ( I know that is totally random but I got it right so many times that sometimes friends just ask me: is she pregnant?)

But apart from that as I said I am a realistic person, who usually only believes in what my eyes can see, if you know what I mean.

Latelly I have been having these freaking dreams and last one has shaken me and left me very confused.

Because I dreamt of a place I have never been, I don't know much about and on my dream I saw a clear map of the place, Alberta, in Canada.

Next day when I googled images Alberta, the first image that shows is exactly and I mean exactly the same map of Alberta that was in my dream.

How on earth would I know how the Alberta map was???

There was also a red circle/ball as a logo stamped on some paper in my dream.

Almost reticent I googled that symbol.

And it freaked me out even more! There are quite a few on the net and they all lead to...Canada!

Oh shit. There is more but I'm not going into more details.

I think I need a holiday... a hammock, a book and sun.

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I love Britain.

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Some people are afraid of the dark, of death,of worms, of cancer, of closed spaces, etc...

My worst nightmare is this unexplained fear of knocking a child over. Or an animal...or any person, really...

And just now, as I was driving home, this van was turning right,and it's a double street, so I drove sideways to the van to turn left.
Obviously I can't see if there is anyone crossing the road.
And then just like in a matter of millesimes of a second, this baby boy, about 3 years old crosses in front of me!!!

And his dad, and his sister.

I bit my lip and I couldn't move! The boy touched the car,it was that close!

Thank God I was driving slowly and had the reflexes to break!

Dad looked at me, emited some shock sounds, like if it was my fault he is a fucking idiot who lets his children cross the street, carelessly!!

Anyway, it doesn't matter, nothing happened, but I am shaking really bad and I feel like crying.

Just the thought of what almost happened, it's enough to traumatize me.

And some people don't believe in angels....

( just a quick note to say in more than 20 years as a driver, I never had an accident, touch wood, I never made a claim with any insurance company, touch my forehead, but somehow, lately I've been having this bad feelings and dreams with cars??? )

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This night I was driving my car and someone was parked wrong then I turned right but I hit all the cars that were parked!!. About 3 or 4.
I stopped , looked at my car, thought I will never have money to pay those cars, and drove away. But before that I noticed this man, walking very slowly and Sherlock Homes type, and I know he wrote my car plate and told all the car owners who did.
I came home, told my husband, he was very upset because he loved this car, that was now totally smashed.
And then I couldn't go to work, because I had no car...and wait for it, this is the best part...I went to work sliding my ass on some sort of "slider", and asking people to get out of my way.

Probably lots of errors on this post, but I'm late to work, no time to review.

Ta ra

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Me, you and he...we went to the restaurant and the final bill was £30.00.

Each of us gave £10.00...
Me: £10.00
You: £10.00
He: £10.00

The waiter took the money to the till and the restaurant owner said:
These three are old customers, return them £5.00! And he gave the waiter five coins of £1.00.

The waiter, very clever, decided to take £2.00 for himself and gave us £1.00 to each of us.

In the end it was like this:
Me: £10.00 (-£1.00 that was returned)= I spent £9.00
You: £10.00 (-£1.00 that was returned)= You spent £9.00
He: £10.00 (-£1.00 that was returned)= He spent £9.00

Therefore, if each of us spent £9.00, what we spent together was £27.00. And if the waiter took £2.00 for him, we now have:

Us: £27.00
Waiter: £2.00
Total: £29.00

The question is:

Where the hell is the other pound???

PS.: If anyone knows where the other pound is, please let me know!!

Sent by The Department of Economics of PUC (Sao Paulo University)

Translated by Miza Tavares

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"The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday."

This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some Liverpudlian youngsters. The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech equipment.

It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other team. However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for! At the crew's first practice session, not only was the Scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mclaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Lewis Hamilton's bird in the shower.

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http://in.reuters.com/article/sportsNews/idINIndia-43250820091019

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And today, I couldn't read the computer monitor.
I kept scratching my eyes, thinking I had something in them but then I realized why the letters were blurred. So I put my polka dot glasses and problem solved.

SomehowI just can't get used to the idea I need to spend £200 in a pair of glasses.

So I bought 3 pairs already BUT from Home Bargains and Primark. £2.00.

Right now I have something like this:

They are cute, but I just can't get used to them. Because they are reading glasses, when I'm typing it's perfect but then I look at the screen and it's out of the glasses vision...and I have to raise my head up to see.

I know this is not a big deal, most people wear glasses but I'm still fighting the idea.
I may have to buy bifocals as the optician advised but I know for a fact, because I know me, that I will always be looking for the glasses everywhere.
I mean, I have 3 cheap pairs now and I can never find one!

It sucks man!

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xx

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It is sad that I don't have photos of many of my paintings.
I don't know how many I painted. (guessing more than 200)
I don't know how many I sold. (guessing 200)

I know it was a lot!

And i just noticed apparently in 1998 and 99 I was very inspired.

Anyway, I'm afraid these aren't for sale because they are all sold, sorry about that.

And my favourite ( not really, no...but I like it)

As you can see, these are all different styles and also different from the ones I posted before.

If anyone can tell me what my style is and which one you like the best, I may find myself someday.

Ta ra

NOTE: You can click the photos to see them...ahem...

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So I thought: awwwwwwwwwww, I feel like asking him if he will marry me...

But then I saw the last item... a cucumber.

Yeah....right...maybe not.

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So I bought a big shunk of it.

We had steak for dinner yesterday, but it wasn't to my taste, so I decided to make it again today.
Cut lovely slices, seasoned, put in the grill.
Alex made the salad and cut slices of palm hearts for us.

We were looking at Pebbles and the tank needed cleaning.

So I said to Alex, put more water in, so I can take it out (The stupid "water sucker" we have only works if the tank has plenty of water).

So, there she came with a bucket full of water and drops into into the light and all over the floor!!! and starts screaming: MOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

I'm turning the steaks, wait!!!!

The stupid turtle is now in the bath and I thought I would feed her. BAD very bad idea!

I have a bath full of bits of fish! She was supposed to eat it all, damn.

Anyway, in the meantime, the barbeque is ready and it smells gorgeous.

So I pick a kitchen towel to get it from the grill and guess who's crazy about kitchen towels??

Oliver, the dog!

He jumps, gets the towel from my hands and my steaks are ready and on the floor!!!!

Now it's my turn to scream: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAleeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxx, HELP!!!!!

It's not funny, but it's the two of us, we laugh at everything

I looked at her, she looked at me, I said, Shall I wash them, she said, okay.

Done, well washed and very healthy steaks for dinner.

I asked her if she wanted to go out for dinner but she said, na, that's fine.

Believe it or not, the meal was fabulous.

Now I just need to get the stupid turtle out the bath.

I love my babes, she's funnier than me.

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As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivill servants will resieve this news with joy. Also the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typwriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Government will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"'s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivon vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

Ta ra

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Que saudade!

I Love you!

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Not in a bad way, but there was poo everywhere on the street and then I came home and opened my Blog and Malakeas was talking about poo (in other words).

Then I opened my email and I had a poo message, it's a video in portuguese and it's something like this:

A guy (some sort of priest, some sort of religion), is giving a talk in front of a large audience and asks:

- If you are outside, barefoot and you step in poo, what do you do?

- Everybody said: - I wash it.

- And if you accidentaly have poo on your elbow, what do you do?

- Again: - I wash it.

You wash it!!
You don't wipe it, right?

So why on earth don't you wash your ass! It's full of creases, you can't just clean it, you have to wash it!

Anyway, in my superstitious old country, old people say if you walk into poo, it's a sign of good luck!!

Good luck, my ass!

Right, I must confess I feel slighty sick, just writing this very interesting post and I just realised I changed my concept of what's the best invention ever.

I always said, to me it is the telephone.

But I changed my mind... the best invention ever is baby wipes...definitely.

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Ate logo

Beijos

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Every country has a traditional song, dance, etc...

We have the Fado.

I personally was never a big fan, as I prefer Pink Floid or Deep Purple, BUT, it's tradition, AND when you are far away from your country, listening to the song from that place can even make you cry.

Well, Fado can make anyone cry, actually, because it's a song with soul and usually drama.

Sometimes it explores "Saudade", which is a word with no translation but that means missing something/someone.

Here's a site with a few places ( translation may not be very good as this is a portuguese website):

http://translate.google.co.uk/translate?hl=en&sl=pt&u=http://sabores.sapo.pt/tendencias/detalhe/roteiro-para-as-casas-de-fado-em-li/&ei=YN7ASqCeKt6fjAfYuckg&sa=X&oi=translate&resnum=16&ct=result&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dcasa%2Bde%2Bfado%2Bem%2Blisboa%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG

And one Fado, There's a bit of an introduction in english. This is a modern version :

And if and when you want to, there's an old one, more traditional and sang my our diva Amalia Rodrigues :

PS: I changed the last video, this one is shorter.

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